Having a best friend

Short stories with lessons; Things to look out for in someone you want to take as a friend

Once upon a time, two friends were walking through the desert. At some point of the journey, they argued and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand;

“Today my best friend slapped me in the face.”

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone;

“Today my best friend saved my life.”

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him;

“After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied;

“When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Lessons from the story

1. Don’t value the things you have in your life. But value who you have in your life.

2. One who offends you today can be a helper tomorrow. Learn to forgive!

There are great benefits to good relationships. And if an individual has a good friend, such being is fortunate. Not all friends are true friends, you will agree with me after reading the meaning of friendship below. Now, what is friendship?

Friendship is a state of enduring affection, esteem, intimacy, and trust between mostly two people or more people at times.

Friendships play an important role in healthy human development and adjustment throughout human life.

Friendship is a dyadic relationship because it involves a series of interactions between two individuals known to each other. It is not mandatory because two individuals may choose to or not to form a friendship with each other. There are no formal duties or legal obligations to one another, anything done for the other always come from free will and is not obligatory.

A genuine friendship is the one in which both individuals has about the same amount of power or authority in the relationship, unlike parent-child relationships. one of the primary goals and reasons of friendship is companionship.

Don't mix it up, friendship is different from peer groups, cliques or acquaintanceships.

Children tend to define friendships in terms of interactions, such as “we play together.” That is called playmates and not friends. They frequently develop emotional and affective functions in their interactions with their playmates which make them choose them as friends.

More so, unilateral friendships, in which only one child of a pair nominates the other as a friend, are quite common in early childhood. To be factual, about half of nominated preschool friendships are unilateral.

People tend to select friends based on some criteria when they become an adult, unlike when they were a child. 

However, what are the things to look out for in someone you wish to go into friendship with.

THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR IN SOMEONE YOU WANT TO TAKE AS A FRIEND

Since there are three main types of friendship which are:

Friendships of pleasure

Friendship of utility and

Friendship of virtue.

It is very important to be careful when choosing a friend even more than you do when picking beans. That is why you should know the things you should look out for in someone you want to take as your friend:

It can be hard to recognize when a friend is weak in some areas, it is always possible to improve both yourself and your friend as you carry on with each other.

Below are the things you should look out for in someone you want to take as a friend:

1. A compassionate individual

Being compassionate is when an individual can be empathetic and genuinely there for another on a daily basis and during times of need. Anyone you wish to become friends with must possess this value.

To be compassionate means to be able to recognize the suffering of others and then take action to help. The person you wish to take as your friend must show kindness and must be able to encourage you if need be. 

2. A Trustworthy individual

If you don't trust a fellow, don't bother going into a friendship with him/her. Being able to have trust and confidence in your friend is one of the most important prerequisites of a strong relationship because true friendship means you can count on one another. A trustworthy friend is the one you can talk to about a personal issue you are facing, knowing that what is said will stay between the two of you and that they will not judge you or the circumstance, and will not go about using the information against you.

3. A honest individual

You should go into friendship with an individual who is open and plain. Honesty is required for you to build a strong and successful friendship with anyone because, at the end of the day, people are usually more hurt when the truth is concealed than by the truth itself, whatever it may be. The individual who is consistent with what they say and what they do.

4. Individual that is ready to bring value to the table

Friendship can be energy-draining when the one you call a friend always come to you, take your things, eat your food and then disappear again. I am not referring to material things alone, it cut across materials, intellectual, financial and even spiritual. Another thing that you must take into consideration is the kind of person such individual is, can he/she inspire or help you in one way or the other?

If all he/she only discuss with you are movies, reality shows, issues of other people and all other unproductive things, you need to stay far away from such individual.

Make friends only with someone who challenges you to do more, not someone who only hails you of your past glories.

5. Someone who is independent

 It is not advisable to go into friendship with someone who always needs the company of a friend. If such individual always needs constant attention from you, you may not be able to cope with each other. Both of you should be able to live independent of each other.

Friendship is totally different from choking yourself. Friends should give themselves some privacy to avoid troubles.

You must be able to reciprocate all these qualities, meaning that you must possess them as well. You cannot want good and refuse to be good. Be ready to be what you expect from people. Wishing you the best of luck!

REASONS WH YOU NEED A GOOD FRIEND 

1. Emotional Support: A best friend is someone you simply connect with in ways that others can’t understand. They get you without you having to fully explain yourself or a situation. More than that, you know they are there for you, even if you are half a world apart.
2. Self-Esteem Boost. If you have someone in your life who thinks you are important, who wants your opinion and values your company, makes you feel wanted. Such friends company will boost your self-esteem and your level of self-worth.
3. Reliability. These are the friends you can rely on through thick and thin. When the going gets tough they will be by your side. They are there with a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or to join you on any adventure.
4. Safety. A good friend will notice if you are suddenly acting unusual or if something isn’t quite right. And that can save you from the unknown.
5. Loyalty. Having the confidence to trust another person completely is a wonderful thing. A good friend will always have your back; they will be honest with you just as it was pointed out in the qualities a good friend must possess.
6. Trust. You can count on these friends to be open, honest and loyal. They will keep shared confidences to themselves, and will not speak negatively about you to others. You can trust that this friend will be there when they say they will
7. Fun. Good friends will always spark up fun times and make you feel out of this world. Fun contribute to a healthy lifestyle because you will be able to ease out stress and other forms of troubles.