Answers To Questions On Different Aspects Of Life

Question and answer section about different aspects of life such as CAREER, LIFE, BUSINESS, FINANCE and RELATIONSHIP.

It sounds great when we find the perfect answers to the questions that have been bordering our minds. If you can take few minutes to go through these questions and answers from real people, you will find this section very useful. It can spur ideas that might be useful for you or someone close to you. The questions are from several aspects of life such as business, career, relationship, finance, and even academics. Below are the questions from real people during the question and answer section with Sam Adeyemi.

QUESTION: "I don't need to advertise my services/products on TV or radio, if they're of good quality, people will tell people" What do you think about this idea Sir?

ANSWER: That's one aspect of marketing. You need to utilize every form. That statement will not work in 2021.

QUESTION: I am a fashion designer and I can make clothes very well, but my problem is money to establishes it. How can I raise money?

ANSWER: Go and work with a bigger and better fashion designers company where you can raise money with more ideas before starting your own, to reduce your financial challenges.

QUESTION: Everything is just difficult for me, how am I going to overcome it? please help me out?

ANSWER: start by changing your thinking.

QUESTION: As a business owner (SME), how can I get tax relief?

ANSWER: Speak to your accountant or get one.

QUESTION: I am into catering as a chef working in a hotel for some years now, how can I succeed as a chef in my career?

ANSWER: You can start by using Instagram. Own a youtube channel. Show your skills and present your dishes with quality. Also, get an Instagram page and promote your work.

QUESTION: How do I know if I'm going to be rich in future?

ANSWER: Do you believe you will be rich? Change your mindset. As you think in your heart so it is. If you believe convincingly that you will be rich, yes you will!

QUESTION: How can we break from the spirit of poverty, delay and stagnation in my family? my dad and mom worked for more than 32years without a house or anything and now he is retired, he has not been paid since July this year.

ANSWER: You need to start from how you think about wealth. Your mindset has to change. You cannot use a poverty mindset to become rich. Start somewhere! No prayer can help someone who thinks differently from what God intended for you.

QUESTION: I'm a girl of 18 and I am a fashion designer, but things are not really going fine and I am slowly losing my self-esteem and confidence. I am under pressure from family just to make money and be the perfect child. I just don't know what to do because I am almost depressed trying to act all perfect. I need advice on what to do and also my Christian life is dropping drastically and everything is just weighing me down mentally. I need advice.

ANSWER: Get a mentor in this area. You need to reach out to someone who has done what you are doing before and get guidance. Show your parents a plan of what you want to achieve and how you are going to achieve it. Speak to them lovingly and patiently. Also, get into a group of people who are better achieving. About your Christian life; recommit to God. Get accountable to someone. Go for your goals. Do something daily that moves you to your goals. Don't get discouraged. Every time you feel discouraged, please bring out your goals and look at them. Use social media to promote your design.

QUESTION: My relationship failed recently because I always pushed the guy to become better and aim higher till he accused me of hurrying him ahead of his pace in life. Do you think I should just settle for mediocrity with him or let my determined nature push me on?

ANSWER: Men hate to feel like their women think they are not enough. The first thing in a relationship is acceptance, don't try to shape him to be what you want, if you are not okay with the way he is then you shouldn't just dive into the relationship, all a man needs from you is trust and support but if you push him too much, he would feel like you think he's not enough, you can read the book MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS BY JOHN GRAY.

QUESTION: I always find myself committing the sin I don't want to commit, no matter how I promise myself not to do it again, I kept doing it over and over again. Now I stop reading the Bible because I am still committing the sin despite reading the Bible. Please what can I do?

ANSWER: Pray to God Almighty for guardians. By His grace and mercies, He'll guide you out of this situation. But mind you, you shouldn't leave everything into God's hand alone. You need to play a vital role in this. Discipline yourself to the core. Take your mind off those sins for once. Guide your thoughts because that's where the battle is originating from. Please don't STOP reading your Bible. The devil is aware of how powerful God's word is that why he's trying to take your mind off God's words. May God Almighty see you through. (Amen)

QUESTION: I want to know how to boost the small scale business selling of building materials and paint that I just added to the work that I am doing before I became a salary earner with a small salary, please tell me what to do.

ANSWER: Get a mentor in that field, someone who has achieved the things you'd like to achieve in that field.

QUESTION: Presently I am a youth corp member in katsina and I know how to barb hair, I have saved up for the business. What should be my consideration before starting a business and what is the best way to increase sales?

ANSWER: There are lots of things you need before starting a business. First, find out very well what people are looking for and are ready to buy. Create solutions around those needs and invest your money in them. Don't go into any business without researching whether or not people are craving the product or service. This is why people fail in business; they go into business and start looking for customers. Again, there are highly recommend and sought-after Digital skills you can learn and make money online legitimately while doing your service in Katsina. Finally, get a business coach and a mentor.

QUESTION; I have a zeal to acquire Skills in ICT and explore myself in Information and Communication Technology, but the resources and material are what I don't have, sometimes I feel disappointed because I haven't started yet, I have tried so many other Jobs but non is to my satisfaction, I am still keen on that ICT desire of mine, but the way to go about achieving it is what is baffling me. I have been patient with myself, waiting for the right time. Sometimes, I think maybe God hasn't approved it for me yet, but I don't know how to fix things to archive this zeal of mine. I need Courage

Answer: Start with learning some tech skills. Like graphics, ebook creation, Digital marketing e.t.c

QUESTION: Is it a good idea for the workforce of a church in their respective department to run as a voluntary Service group in Church and as a business? E.g Media Team also running as a media company, ushering team running as a professional ushering company, worship team running also as a professional Christian music company, protocol running also a running a professional security company

ANSWER: Why not create a brand under the church that will cater for all this plus anyone who works with this brand gets paid.

QUESTION: I have great visions and plans but I sometimes fear that they might not come true due to some challenges. How can I deal with those fears and lack of confidence?

ANSWER: You need courage. You need to try first. If you do not give a trial, you will never know. Go for it.

QUESTION: I have two certificates in education and the only business I am sure of doing perfectly is running a school of my own, but I don't have the start-up fund. Please sir, how can I raise funds for this business?

ANSWER: Work in a very good school for some time while you save up money. If you have a space to start up daily lessons, you could add that to it as a side hustle while working.

QUESTION: I want to know what to do, in a situation when all things in my life are not working out as supposed, but as a Christian, I have tried every possible way to work it out both in hard work, prayer, and selfless service to God, but all I could observe is seeing my walls collapsing. What do I do at this point?

ANSWER: You seem to have made the problem seem bigger than it is and that would keep making it seem to be so, it is not possible for everything in your life not to be working, there may just be some few things that are not working as you want, and you need to identify them, and you haven't tried every possible way to make it work, you might have tried some things but you haven't tried everything, you have to change your mindset about the problem. That would be your first step to a breakthrough.

QUESTION: I am a type of person that whenever I attend Church program, seminar, or conference, there is this type of zeal or motivation in me when the speaker is speaking or teaching that makes me feel to do like them or even better than them. But when the Church program, seminar or conference is over, the zeal or motivation is also over.  How can I overcome such situations?

ANSWER: The challenge you're having is that after hearing all of those teachings/ motivational words, you don't FOLLOW UP WITH STRATEGIC ACTIONS IMMEDIATELY. After hearing all of those words, start taking actions that will direct you to the positive results you're looking for. Strategic action is the only thing that will bring the results, not just those words alone.

QUESTION: I have a talent of writing. I have written two books but nothing in terms of money is coming. I have envisaged a business outline but without capital. I have two manuscripts that I want to sell at a giveaway prize to raise money for the business. What can I do about this?

ANSWER: You can publish an ebook. Make money from the Ecopy to raise money for the hardcopy.

QUESTION: How can I boost my confidence back, I have been so afraid to move on due to past experience. I feel depressed and traumatized.

ANSWER: You need therapy.

QUESTION: I am a young boy of 21 years. I am currently a final year student and the first child too. With the help of the Lord, I touched money at the tender age of 16 years, but was unwise to know how to manage it and everything just went into smoke.

Apart from that, I have got pressing issues from my parents, please and even from myself.

Issues like;

1. Who am I?

2. What am I to do on Earth?

3. How do I even get to where I am supposed to be?

4. If I am called, how do I get started?

5. How can I get good financial education.

All these are some of the issues I am going through that I would love you to help me out with.

ANSWER: Get books and read, I recommend 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen covey, maximizing your potential by John Maxwell and Rich Dad poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki.

QUESTION: How I am going to help a depressed person because I have not experienced such before. I will appreciate your response. Thank you, Sir.

ANSWER: BY making the person engage in meaningful things that will benefit him or her, let the person continue to study the word of God, and always be around positive people with good and genuine advice.

QUESTION: I have a fan base of over ten thousand children in primary and secondary schools in two major states, how can I convert this to a stream of income.

ANSWER: Become a teen coach.

QUESTION: I am a graduate since 2018, I have been sending my CV to so many companies, I updated my CV, yet I can't get a job, what would have caused this?

ANSWER: Create a job for yourself!! Learn a skill, enrol as an apprentice, combine it with the education you got. You will be on top!!

QUESTION: I don't know why I have been finding it difficult to say 'yes to a man that has been asking for my hand in marriage for months now. Please what could be the reason?

ANSWER:  Maybe you don't feel convinced enough that he's the right choice for you, and saying you don't know why you can't say yes to him kinda feels like you don't know what you want and you need to. Know exactly what you want, so you don't end up with what you don't want because of the circumstances around it.

QUESTION: Good morning sir, I love making snacks and that is what made me venture into it fully. I started selling from small to large Quantities. But recently, I have had a little challenge with my customers, due to the high rise of recipes in the market, I have to reduce the quantity of my product, but my customers are complaining comparing it to people that do their own commercially more than I could do. It discouraged me though, what can I do?

ANSWER: As an entrepreneur, I suggest you explain to them and try to make them understand why it is that way. I know they'll threaten to leave for another vendor. However, if you think it's worth reducing the number of snacks you produce to be able to buy the complete ingredients, do it. But, if I were in your shoes, I would make it as tasteful as usual and increase the price. Some of them will buy while others will go. But with that, you can maintain your feet in the market.

QUESTION: I want to pass my WAEC and NECO without malpractice but no educational infrastructure (e.g, laboratory, e.t.c) should I get involved in cheating? because I tried for the first time and my chemistry was F9 and Physics P8.

ANSWER: No, don't get involved in exams malpractice. If the location you find yourself in doesn't have the needed academic infrastructures, search for some other place that does, then register for their tutorials. But the undiluted truth is that you'll need to work more on yourself. Make a sincere evaluation of your strength/weaknesses as a student. When you understand the basic factors that will enhance your learning abilities, passing WAEC and NECO or any other exams will be easy for you.

QUESTION: As a married woman with two kids and in the middle '20s. Do I still need to obey and heed my parents against my husbands wish since the bible said children obey your parents, Is it still applicable to me as a married woman? Especially when my husband is not in support of their idea?

ANSWER: Judge from the advice of both parties. Follow whose advice is right.

QUESTION: I'm into Real Estate and Chief Executive Officer Of my company. what are the measures to apply in order to thrive in a rigid economic policy in a country such as Nigeria as regards to Real Estate business? I will be very glad to understand the right approach to enable my company to grow stronger.

ANSWER: if you grow, your company will grow. Get a mentor in this area(real estate) with some coaching if possible. To move your company forward you also need superstars working for you. people who are good. Check out this book (The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster by Darren Hardy.)

QUESTION: Good morning Sir, I have run a small snack business for two months now but I find out that I keep losing my capital and I have to source out money to start over again. Although I feed on the money. I need help

ANSWER: I think your expenses from the business is bigger than the income and that ain't right. Check how much you make at a particular period and how much you spend from the business. 70% of your income should go into your savings while 30% can be used for any other necessities

QUESTION: Sir, I want to write a book. How do I start?

ANSWER: Get a topic. Break down what you want to cover in that book. Do some research. Start writing.

QUESTION: How do I know the will of God for me in choosing a life partner?

ANSWER: For you to know the will of God in a relationship, you need to be dead to flesh by trying to choose for yourself, there are things you need to put into consideration. When you see the right person, you will notice the peace of mind, total conviction without any doubt, sincerity and total commitment without holding back anything, understanding, commitment to your well being and not after sex, future ambition or target.

QUESTION: I want to create a health app. I have a picture of what I want in my mind but don't know how to start. What can I do sir? I am a nurse.

ANSWER: First of all, partner with people who are into App creation, but be careful because of wrong people who will steal that idea, then do some online research to gather ideas that will lead you into that, nothing good come easy, give more time into the training every day, it doesn't matter even if you do mistake, you can still start all over again until you get what you want.

QUESTION: How do I improve my leadership and communication Skills without a mentor.

ANSWER: Work on yourself through listening to some important messages/CD, or online research. YouTube have it all. You can learn public speaking and communication through YouTube. Try it and follow a lot of communication experts, learn by observation and practice.

QUESTION: How can I become a successful businessman? Do you know any book I can read about that?

ANSWER: Start with building yourself, check out my book online; Start with what you have (Sam Adeyemi)

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Having a best friend

Short stories with lessons; Things to look out for in someone you want to take as a friend

Once upon a time, two friends were walking through the desert. At some point of the journey, they argued and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand;

“Today my best friend slapped me in the face.”

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone;

“Today my best friend saved my life.”

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him;

“After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied;

“When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Lessons from the story

1. Don’t value the things you have in your life. But value who you have in your life.

2. One who offends you today can be a helper tomorrow. Learn to forgive!

There are great benefits to good relationships. And if an individual has a good friend, such being is fortunate. Not all friends are true friends, you will agree with me after reading the meaning of friendship below. Now, what is friendship?

Friendship is a state of enduring affection, esteem, intimacy, and trust between mostly two people or more people at times.

Friendships play an important role in healthy human development and adjustment throughout human life.

Friendship is a dyadic relationship because it involves a series of interactions between two individuals known to each other. It is not mandatory because two individuals may choose to or not to form a friendship with each other. There are no formal duties or legal obligations to one another, anything done for the other always come from free will and is not obligatory.

A genuine friendship is the one in which both individuals has about the same amount of power or authority in the relationship, unlike parent-child relationships. one of the primary goals and reasons of friendship is companionship.

Don't mix it up, friendship is different from peer groups, cliques or acquaintanceships.

Children tend to define friendships in terms of interactions, such as “we play together.” That is called playmates and not friends. They frequently develop emotional and affective functions in their interactions with their playmates which make them choose them as friends.

More so, unilateral friendships, in which only one child of a pair nominates the other as a friend, are quite common in early childhood. To be factual, about half of nominated preschool friendships are unilateral.

People tend to select friends based on some criteria when they become an adult, unlike when they were a child. 

However, what are the things to look out for in someone you wish to go into friendship with.

THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR IN SOMEONE YOU WANT TO TAKE AS A FRIEND

Since there are three main types of friendship which are:

Friendships of pleasure

Friendship of utility and

Friendship of virtue.

It is very important to be careful when choosing a friend even more than you do when picking beans. That is why you should know the things you should look out for in someone you want to take as your friend:

It can be hard to recognize when a friend is weak in some areas, it is always possible to improve both yourself and your friend as you carry on with each other.

Below are the things you should look out for in someone you want to take as a friend:

1. A compassionate individual

Being compassionate is when an individual can be empathetic and genuinely there for another on a daily basis and during times of need. Anyone you wish to become friends with must possess this value.

To be compassionate means to be able to recognize the suffering of others and then take action to help. The person you wish to take as your friend must show kindness and must be able to encourage you if need be. 

2. A Trustworthy individual

If you don't trust a fellow, don't bother going into a friendship with him/her. Being able to have trust and confidence in your friend is one of the most important prerequisites of a strong relationship because true friendship means you can count on one another. A trustworthy friend is the one you can talk to about a personal issue you are facing, knowing that what is said will stay between the two of you and that they will not judge you or the circumstance, and will not go about using the information against you.

3. A honest individual

You should go into friendship with an individual who is open and plain. Honesty is required for you to build a strong and successful friendship with anyone because, at the end of the day, people are usually more hurt when the truth is concealed than by the truth itself, whatever it may be. The individual who is consistent with what they say and what they do.

4. Individual that is ready to bring value to the table

Friendship can be energy-draining when the one you call a friend always come to you, take your things, eat your food and then disappear again. I am not referring to material things alone, it cut across materials, intellectual, financial and even spiritual. Another thing that you must take into consideration is the kind of person such individual is, can he/she inspire or help you in one way or the other?

If all he/she only discuss with you are movies, reality shows, issues of other people and all other unproductive things, you need to stay far away from such individual.

Make friends only with someone who challenges you to do more, not someone who only hails you of your past glories.

5. Someone who is independent

 It is not advisable to go into friendship with someone who always needs the company of a friend. If such individual always needs constant attention from you, you may not be able to cope with each other. Both of you should be able to live independent of each other.

Friendship is totally different from choking yourself. Friends should give themselves some privacy to avoid troubles.

You must be able to reciprocate all these qualities, meaning that you must possess them as well. You cannot want good and refuse to be good. Be ready to be what you expect from people. Wishing you the best of luck!

REASONS WH YOU NEED A GOOD FRIEND 

1. Emotional Support: A best friend is someone you simply connect with in ways that others can’t understand. They get you without you having to fully explain yourself or a situation. More than that, you know they are there for you, even if you are half a world apart.
2. Self-Esteem Boost. If you have someone in your life who thinks you are important, who wants your opinion and values your company, makes you feel wanted. Such friends company will boost your self-esteem and your level of self-worth.
3. Reliability. These are the friends you can rely on through thick and thin. When the going gets tough they will be by your side. They are there with a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or to join you on any adventure.
4. Safety. A good friend will notice if you are suddenly acting unusual or if something isn’t quite right. And that can save you from the unknown.
5. Loyalty. Having the confidence to trust another person completely is a wonderful thing. A good friend will always have your back; they will be honest with you just as it was pointed out in the qualities a good friend must possess.
6. Trust. You can count on these friends to be open, honest and loyal. They will keep shared confidences to themselves, and will not speak negatively about you to others. You can trust that this friend will be there when they say they will
7. Fun. Good friends will always spark up fun times and make you feel out of this world. Fun contribute to a healthy lifestyle because you will be able to ease out stress and other forms of troubles.

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Answers to questions on how to develop, create and see value around you.

The aspect of life this question and answer section covers are self-discovery and improvement, finance, business, career, and relationship.

The answers are solutions that are easy to follow. Books that carry the solution are recommendations to some questions. I am sure you will find this piece very interesting.

These are questions from real people, their names were exempted for confidential reasons.

Wondering where the questions came from? These are questions from people during the question and answer section with Sam Adeyemi on Facebook, consultation sections and so on. Most of the answers are provided by sam Adeyemi and some by Peter Oyebode with other amazing personalities. Take what you need and apply the answers where applicable.

Your personal questions can be directed to Peter Oyebode

QUESTION: How do I build consistency in learning a new skill?

ANSWER: Do something daily in that area for 30mins - 1 hour.

QUESTION: How can I make savings?

ANSWER: Avoid debts and start a side hustle.

QUESTION: I thought of venturing into pure water distribution from factory to homes. But I am lost about how to develop a clientele base without losing them to the factory?

ANSWER: Why not start by looking for clientele first. Start with some research. Go out and ask if people even want this service. No guesswork. Take the uncertainty out.

QUESTION: I trade forex and crypto but recently I ran into financial dept, it got so bad that I could barely afford to feed. How do I get out of this precarious moment?

ANSWER: Investing is risky, maybe slow down a little.

QUESTION: I really need to know how I can be able to meditate more and remember whatever I read?

ANSWER: Read one chapter a day and memorise one verse. Start slow. Write it on a stick now and look at it every morning too. Until it sticks.

QUESTION: I have a passion for the sales and production of organic       products but my parents did not agree. How can I persuade my parent to learn it?

ANSWER: You come to an agreement with them. Your parents are probably fearful of something they do not understand. Show them the benefits and possibilities and show them your plans on paper.

QUESTION: The happenings in the country landed me in so many business debts that... Seriously it's getting into my head...my creditors are on my neck and I'm stuck...don't know what next to do seriously.

ANSWER: Speak to all your creditors. Work out a payment plan with them. Don't take any more loans.

QUESTION: I want to venture into the business of poultry farming but the recent bird flu attack made me scared. What can I do sir?

ANSWER: Speak to someone in that business currently, get some advice. You could call poultry investment companies and ask questions.

QUESTION: When you have foresight, ideas and encouraging values and could see it will breakthrough, but you are not just propelled, or internally no vibes to start up, sir how could one overcome this?

ANSWER: Set your goals, look at them every day. Ask yourself what am I doing right now or is what am doing right now moving me towards my goal. Be honest with yourself. If you are waiting for vibes you may never start anything tangible. Don't let fear or excuses dominate your mind. Break down your goals into daily achievable tasks daily. All the best.

QUESTION: I am running a startup company. A thrift business.

How do I get investors to expand our services?

ANSWER: Collaborate with someone or partner with someone. Investors have to see that your business is doing well with huge potential. If investors can't see this, they will not be interested. Make sure your business records and systems are excellent. Networking is important too. You might need to do some online research here.

QUESTION: What is the system to developing the value within myself?

ANSWER: Identify your strengths. Speak to people around you, let them give you feedback. Take time with yourself and write down what you love doing, what you want, set your goals and go for it. Seeing value in yourself starts from within. Self-esteem is highly important. Discard anything eating at your self-esteem.

QUESTION: How can I go into developing without having any skill?

ANSWER: Learn a skill. Use Youtube, it's free.

QUESTION: In a bid to keep making myself valuable, I've taken and still taking more courses. I'm currently running a PhD program but I still feel like my value is not visible enough. I sometimes feel like a cornered/hidden asset. How do I market myself and make people see more of this value, and at the same time get good income from this?

ANSWER: In a need to become a valuable person in society, you have to solve problems. Attend to the problem of your society. Dangote is popular only because he is attending to the needs of Nigerians and the other countries in the world. Analyze the needs of your society then strategically find ways to meet them.

I believe you have a lot of potentials in you that might solve people's problems. Apart from acquiring educational knowledge, the practical aspect of you should be felt by the society. That is what matters in the world.

Write out what you like doing, display your knowledge in a practical sense. Also, do some research on the challenges people are facing today, look for the one you have a solution for and make it available for people to see.

From there you will begin to see yourself impacting others. Of course, your impact will definitely bring income to you.

QUESTION: As an entrepreneur, I ought to be dispensing value always by putting out valuable content. 

How do I strike a balance between giving out free value and selling valuable content?

Also, how does one become highly sought after in his niche/field of specialisation?

ANSWER: The essence of giving free value is to attract a certain type of audience in your niche.

According to the law of reciprocity, if you give, expect to receive.

Your goal should be to give more value and build your audience, then you can monetize your audience by selling a product.

QUESTION: I am a business lady, and I have a restaurant in Abuja. My dad died and I stopped. I am now in Lagos working to save up money to start again, WHENEVER I HAVE THE MONEY, SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN. IF THE MONEY DIDN'T FINISH, THE PROBLEM PROBLEM WON'T GO. I AM TIRED. What will I do because I am so so tired of everything?

ANSWER: I think you already created a myth and pattern in your head and you need to lose it. That problem is exactly the way you see it.

Go again and clear off the myth. That is when you have money to start again.

QUESTION: I am a teacher in a school preparing to go for my masters, I heard of adding value, upgrading and so on.

How do I add value and upgrade myself spiritually, financially and otherwise?

ANSWER: To add value to yourself is simply to add knowledge to yourself. Be loaded and that is how you will be needed.

The value you are to add here is for you to solve problems with the knowledge you have acquired academically. For example, if you are teaching English in school, you can start by letting people know the importance of good communication. Not everybody knows how to communicate effectively. You can teach people what it takes to become a good public speaker. Write it as an ebook and sell it.

QUESTION: I am currently an apprentice at a fashion house and just graduated(2020). I am looking for how to raise capital and gain entrepreneurial skills. Any advice?

ANSWER: Go and work under someone. Get paid for your services, safe or join a cooperative, after six months you will be granted a loan to start up your business.

QUESTION: How can u discover my talent and develop it?

ANSWER: Read, 'NOW DISCOVER YOUR STRENGHTS' By Marcus Buckingham

QUESTION: What about marriage issues?

ANSWER: Read books on marriage, I recommend

• MEN ARE MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS By John Gray
• THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES By Gary Chapman
• SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE By Stephen Covey

QUESTION: How can I develop and monetize my gift of counselling and life mentoring?

ANSWER: Get some video testimonials from people you have helped. Use social media to offer free content daily to people and YouTube too. Build a following. Start building your email list, give something for email addresses. Improve your online presence and network with people in that space. Start doing something. You can open an online counselling platform. Do some research too on how this is done.

QUESTION: How can I multiply my values, sir?

ANSWER: Grow. You need to learn new skills or improve the skills you already have to the highest possible level.

QUESTION: How can one be successful as a man?

ANSWER: To be successful as a man, you need to;

• Be responsible
• Get a vision
• Be disciplined

QUESTION: How can one build a good relationship with his partner and also with God?

ANSWER: To have a good relationship with partner and God;    

• Always seek first to be understandable
• Then express yourself to be understood
• And always find a third alternative when there is a difference in a stand.

QUESTION: How can I control my mindset?

ANSWER: Watch your circle of friends, the songs you listen to, the books you read, the television programs you watch and people you listen to.

QUESTION: Is it possible to start a business with capital as low as thirty thousand?

ANSWER: Yes, you can start with very little. Look at your skills and monetize them. Test the market, see if people want your services. Go for it.

QUESTION: I have in mind to start a business but am always afraid of failing. What can I do?

ANSWER: You need a right mindset to succeed in business. Business is built, it is not an investment where you put your money and go to sleep, wait for your ROI every month. Business requires your attention, develop yourself more around your business, give it time while you get better and also get a mentor that will guide you. A lot of persons don't see the need for mentorship but ask those that are successful today, they will tell you who their mentor is.

QUESTION: I just got admission to school and my mum that is willing to sponsor my education has passed on since last year. What can I do about this since there is no helper again and education really matters to me?

ANSWER: First of all, calm yourself down. Find a skill and learn, start your own, save money and pursue your education.

QUESTION: How do I relate with people, I mean having a long-lasting relationship with people?

For example, I don't have any special friends, I see everyone like "they are human beings" "don't trust them"

ANSWER: Maybe you have been hurt by someone you trusted. But this feeling will go off if you start associating yourself with people that share the same vision as you and work with them to achieve a common goal. You will form friendships from there.

QUESTION: I discovered I have so many creative ideas both in and out of my field but I don't know how to go develop the ideas outside my field, how to sell these ideas or invest in them?

ANSWER: Do some research on how ideas work. There are tons of books on the topic. You can check out;

1. 8th Habit by Stephen Covey
2. 360-degree leader by John Maxwell 
   
   
   

Or you check out Richard Branson, Warren Bemmis or Peter Drucker's books. There are so many management, leadership and business books out there.

Before deciding to purchase or read any book, make sure the said author has results in that particular aspect of life.

QUESTION: I started off with sciences, when I got admission into the school of nursing, my admission was sold. I got angry and change my course to business administration. I finished feeling very empty, I went ahead to do postgraduate in education because I discovered I enjoyed teaching, wrote the teachers exam and passed but all the jobs I am getting can barely feed me. I am at a crossroads of what I should do, what is the way out?

ANSWER: You made it clear that you enjoyed teaching, you need to keep the passion burning and with time you will find a better teaching job.

Keep doing your best and think of ways to start a business around education.

You can add a side business also to meet your financial needs, look around you, find what people need most am start selling them.

QUESTION: I am having a big challenge keeping my business going in my absence. I am not afraid of delegating but people don't deliver as much value as I would if I was present. So I am afraid of leaving the business to run itself. What can I do to solve this problem?

ANSWER: Read the 8th Habit by Stephen Covey.

QUESTION: I love counselling, motivating, advising etc, either on a career path, marital issues or any other topics. Also, I can teach(preach), I derive joy in doing them but I don't know how to go about these gifts. What exactly am I called to do on earth and how can I develop it?

ANSWER: Since you seem to be able to identify your strengths, then all you simply have to do now is express them. There are great individuals in these fields, listen to their tapes or read their books and do something that taps from your strengths for a minimum of an hour a day and watch yourself grow tremendously.

You can channel your purpose into public speaking and writing. You can use your Facebook page or group to deliver your content.

QUESTION: Why do we have more young writers committing suicide while the older writers are breathing the struggle?

ANSWER: Most of them started writing because they were told they can earn from it.

Not for the love of it or passion. Older writers kill boredom, and depression through writing, the writing was a healing to their aching heart, but to the present-day writers, it plunges them to loneliness and eventually suicide because it was to them a craft and it must pay. The squabbles are all the fall out of fail expectations.

QUESTION: What is the most important thing you think a man or woman should achieve or should have before seeing himself/herself ready for marriage?

ANSWER: Knowing what God created you to be, so as to find someone whose purpose and dreams align with yours.

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The Struggles Of Our Life

Inspirational short stories with lessons - How to advance through adversity

Once upon a time, a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it.

She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.

Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot and ground coffee beans in the third pot. He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter.

The daughter moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. After twenty minutes he turned off the burners.

He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup.

Turning to her, he asked. “Daughter, what do you see?”

“Potatoes, eggs and coffee,” she quickly replied.

“Look closer,” he said, “and touch the potatoes.” She did and noted that they were soft.

He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich flavour brought a smile to her face.

“Father, what does this mean?” she asked.

He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity (the boiling water). However, each one reacted differently. The potato went in strong, hard and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak.

The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.

“Which one are you?” he asked his daughter.

“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Lessons from the story:

1. In life, things happen around us, things happen to us, but the only thing that truly matters is how you choose to react to it and what you make out of it.

2. Life is all about learning, adapting and transforming all the struggles that we experience into something positive.

HOW TO ADVANCE THROUGH ADVERSITY

Challenges are bound to occur in our journey through life. You must be aware that no difficulty is permanent. For you to advance in times of adversity, you need to develop the willpower not to give up. That is the assured way to overcome, if you don't give up, you will define win.

9 STEPS TO OVERCOME ADVERSITY

When adversity occurs in an individual's life, most people tend to look for the escape route. Withdrawing from adversity is not the best step to take. Whenever disaster struck against any individual, all he/she will want to do is to find an escape and avoid the disaster. Such a response to adversity shows that the individual is weak or has not developed personally.

There are two responses to adversity

1. The first one is to exclaim, "Life is so terrible" or "why me Lord?" and most times weak individuals will say "but you don't understand what I am going through." The issue of adversity is a personal one, and that is why many feel their situation is worse than anyone else's.

2. The second one is to think positively "if I can't pay the price, then I don't deserve the prize". And then such individuals position the mind to find the perfect solution to such a situation.

We may feel like a situation is too terrible and there is no solution to it but that is not true. There are ways we can approach unavoidable situations in our life. You must refuse to be discouraged. Below are the steps to overcoming adversity:

1. SPEAK POSITIVELY TO YOUR SITUATION

Each time the fear of failing grabs you, speak positive words aloud to that situation. Here are some positive affirmations to repeat regularly:

" all is well"

"I will conquer"

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength"

"This is not the end of my life"

" I am unstoppable"

"I shall not grow weary" "I am unstoppable" 

2. SELF MOTIVATION

At times, we become overwhelmed by the issues we face every day. And when stress is becoming much, it leads to depression. And to avoid breaking down in this situation, you have to brace up and encourage yourself. Take a look at the goals you set that gives you hope. Colourfully view the future and encourage yourself with what you can accomplish. It is not a bad thing to fall, you only need to get up and start moving again when you fall.

3. THINK OUT OF THE BOX

If you address the situation with an emotional state, it will keep getting worse. That is why you need to detach yourself from the situation first and then you can think of the way out. You will agree with me that it is easier to show how somebody else can change the situation they are in. You can spot the ways they can get out of a situation in which they found themselves since you are not emotionally attached to the situation, and it is easier to look at the problem from a different and better perspective.

This doesn't mean that you should throw away the box. You don't need to throw away the box, you only need to think out of it. To overcome adversity in your life, detach yourself from the situation and look at it from a different perspective. Treat it as another man's case and you will find a solution to the problem.

4. FIND OUT THE CAUSE

Most times, the hardship or problems we find ourselves in are the outcomes of our past actions. If you can investigate the source of the crisis, it will help you to get the right solution to the problem.  Because to change your situation, you need to change your thought and actions, Henry Ford said 'If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.' Wrong decisions are part of the cause of adversity in our life. You must try to figure out the cause of the problem and Look into how to change that situation. Find a way to face and surpass the challenges that are holding you back from success. Never blame other people, the system, or the government for your misfortune.

5. DEVELOP RESILIENCE

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. It refers to the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events. Being resilient does not mean you won't experience stress, emotional upheaval, and suffering. Being able to recover readily from misfortune, tragedy, setback, or any other form of adversity. You need to be willing to try again after every fall. Instead of thinking of quitting, map out the plan of how to get back on track.

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

― Maya Angelou

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

― Thomas Edison

6. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE

Words from other people can affect the way we see situations. If all you got around you are people who always see doom in every circumstance, it will affect your progress, it will either prevent you from moving forward or reduce your ability, making the situation look harder.

But to save yourself, never move with people who always see impossibilities in every situation.

"Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.” 

― Jean Chatzky

7. INVEST IN YOURSELF

This sounds like a proverb, right? You may be asking that what do I mean by invest in yourself? Investing in yourself is all about spending as little or as much money to develop yourself. 

It is the ability to gather enough information about ways you can move from point A to point B and finally reach your goal. You will surely overcome adversity if you can develop yourself for the result you desired. Here are ways you can invest in yourself:

• Discover yourself.
• Read good books.
• Read blog posts that deals with what you intend to improve on.
• Develop new skills.
• Never stop learning (That is the number one key to success, however, learn only things that are important to your journey)

8. LINK UP WITH SUCCESS

Adversity is a barrier to success, and the only way you can scale through is to find the 'ladder' or 'bridge' that will help you get to your dream. BELIEVING IN YOUR ABILITY is one of the bridges, having FOCUS is one of them, setting and accomplishing GOALS, making the right CHOICES, can be the bridge you needed.

When limits are broken, adversity vanishes. This means that when you can link up with success with the right ladder, you won't fall.

9. FIND A MENTOR

There are key steps to finding the right mentor. You need a mentor especially for rapid growth in your career/ business. A mentor will guide, motivate and even share experiences with you. The importance can never be overemphasized.

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SILENCED!

 SILENCED!

Inspirational Short Stories with lessons - How to overcome the fear of threats and break free of danger.

"Would you keep quiet you silly brat!", he yelled at me. 

I kept struggling, kicking and cursing under my breath.

Irritated by my defence mechanisms, he silenced me with a thunderous slap. I felt intense pains on my cheeks but they were nothing compared to the pains I felt in between my thighs.

He forced himself into me amidst curses. It was more painful than the rest of the days. Perhaps that was my punishment for putting up a defence.

"When would all this end?", I wept silently as he made animalistic noises.

"If someone else gets to know about this,  I would kill you. Don't even try telling your mum unless you want her dead", he warned as he zipped up his pants.

I spat at him.

"Animal! I hate you".

He grinned and whistled as he left the room.

I had so much hatred for him. I wished I could kill him. 

Mum, an American-trained barrister would come home to see my eyes swollen due to prolonged weeping. She would probe me to open up to her but his threats kept me mute.

I just wished she would figure out that her husband, my step-dad has been forcing me into immoral acts with him.

"Christy, please talk to me. Why are you sad?", Mum would ask but I couldn't say a word.

Deep down I wanted to be free from his shackles, molestations and abuses yet I couldn't say a word to voice out my pain.

His threats were like a pin fastened to my throat. It seemed like my mouth was masked up with steel tape.

I needed salvation from my step dad's torment yet I couldn't voice out my pain.

Not until I made a decision...

That night he came to me as usual with his ropes ready to bind my hands so I wouldn't hinder the penetration.

I was prepared for him. I took out my knives from the pillow and threatened to cut him in bits.

We had struggled with the knives until his manly strength overpowered mine. He had his way into me. I sustained bruises and knife cuts due to our struggle.

That midnight, I banged on the door to mum's room. She was surprised to see me half-naked as I walked into the room.

 

"Christy! What is the matter with you?"

I looked at the devil in his pyjamas sleeping comfortably on the king-sized bed and I felt like using a knife to cut off his manly organ, roast it as meat and serve it to him as a meal.

"Christy talk to me", mum shouted.

I showed her the cuts on my body, the severe injuries in between my thighs and so many more.

She screamed in fright. 

"Who did this to my daughter?"

And I told her everything.

Artwork by ParentCo

She woke him up with a slap on his face. The beast was surprised to see my mum & I shedding tears. He saw my unclad body with all bruises visible. And then he knew the river has overflown.

He was arrested that midnight and beaten mercilessly by the human rights officials. Later on, he was prosecuted and given a life sentence.

Hmm...

That was how I got my freedom. I got tired of being silenced and I voiced out.

Many of us are like me.  We find ourselves in terrible pains, situations and challenges. We cry and crave for salvation yet we never open our mouth to tell our problems to God. We expect him to see our pains and troubles and come to our aid.

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; to him that knocketh it shall be opened Matthew 7:7-8 

Story Written by Julius Favour Vivian

Lessons from the story

1. Never keep mute when you are cheated. Most threats are fake, it is just to keep the victim mute.

2. If you don't ask for something, you may not receive it.

How to overcome the fear of threats and break free of danger.

Threats of violence can have serious impacts on your mental health. Some of the issues it creates include anxiety, fear, self-blame and lack of concentration. When you are vulnerable to danger, you may also experience physical issues like dizziness, nausea, loss of appetite, headaches, chest pains,

 and sleeplessness.

Threats can be in different forms, and each requires a different approach. You’ll often need to quickly evaluate the situation so you can determine how serious the threat is and the best way to address the issue. Any kind of threat is illegal, especially if it involves physical harm just like the story above.

Threats can either be credible or non-credible.

Credible Threat

This kind of threat is true, serious, and real. The person has the ability to carry out the threat if the victim finally discloses the matter.

Non-credible Threat

This kind of threat is not real, the person just wants to enslave the victim so as not to disclose the matter. Just like an illusion, it is false evidence appearing real.

When you are threatened by an individual close to you or even by a stranger, the way you react can vary from becoming aggressive to feeling fearful and unsure of what to do next. Be informed that the way you handle the issue can have a dangerous impact on your life.

Source: gettyimages

Here are steps you need to take whenever you want to break free of threat or you  found yourself in this kind of situation.

What To Do When Someone Threatens you

Stay calm whenever you’re dealing with a threat. When there is a problem,  it is easy to say things you shouldn’t.  and the last thing you want to do is create an evidence trail that could put some of the blame on you. Take it seriously but do not threaten back. Also, be very careful of putting any type of response in form of writing to the person.

Always think before you act, Avoid all things that can have severe, long-term consequences on you or those that are on your side.

Source: pexels

1.Have faith and believe that you will conquer

The way you see yourself in such a situation matters a lot. If you feel defeated within you, there is a problem. But if you can cheer yourself up that God will save you through an individual, you are on your way out of such a predicament. The more you allow fear to occupy your mind, the more difficult such situation will look like. Most threat based on assault is like a shield for the culprit to keep the victim mute and protect himself from punishment or loss of dignity.

2. Gather And Retain All evidence

Firm evidence is needed in this situation. To make it easier to get out of it and for people to believe you, make sure you hold onto all evidence From the moment the threat arises.

Things like messages, screenshots, and record of telephone conversation will be helpful if you need to take legal or civil action. If it happens to be a physical one, you may record the voice of such an individual if you got the opportunity to do so.

3. Tell Someone you trust

Make sure you talk to someone capable about what’s going on. Never deal with a threat on your own. Let he/she be aware of the person who is threatening you and show such person the evidence you have gathered. This should be done wisely. Once you are courageous enough to explain what has happened to someone without the knowledge of the individual who abused you, then you are at a higher edge to overcome the situation.

4. Make Peace 

If you feel the threat is a non-credible one, you may want to reach out to the person who is threatening you. See if you can resolve the issue amicably However, in many cases, this can make things worse. If you decide to take this approach, be cautious so that that step won't exacerbate the situation. Some threats can never be settled amicably due to the situation behind them.

Source: pexels

5. Take a Legal Action

But if the case is a severe one, that is a credible threat. It’s very important and highly recommend to take such threat seriously and do what you need to be on the safer side. If someone threatens you, do your best to remain calm and shrewdly report the case to the police or other law enforcement body dealing with such kind of issues.

Most times, the culprit may be arrested and such individual faces assault charges. This is usually a non-indictable offence, but if it’s serious, it could result in a jail term.

Be informed that some are threats are only empty threats and you only need to take courage and voice out to overcome the fear caused by that threat.

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